Going to Montréal? I can help.
Tourisme Montréal is launching a new campaign to draw more vistors to the "most European city in North America."
That's too bad. Each visit I find more than enough Americans stumbling around. I can't help but see them in their white sneakers and Niagara Falls t-shirts. Brrr. Or overhear them asking how many "pounds" they can get for $20. But the worst is their bumbling attempt to speak to the cashiers:
"EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Yes, evidently they believe French is simply Engish at twice the decibels. With that in mind I'd like to teach you two phrases my francophone wife drilled into me when I first visited Montréal. They're like gold. Every storekeeper who hears my obviously well practiced phrases immediately smiles and switches to English. My wife says it is because they appreciate I am trying to speak their language so they speak English back as a kindness.
So two phrases are all you need to get by in Montréal. Here they are:
"Je ne parle pas français."
"Je suis un benêt d'Américain"
